Updated: Mar 17, 2021
People always ask me how i keep my shite together and cope with all the HD. Not only do i live the HD life, blog about it but i also work for a HD charity. *FYI - My work and blog are in no way connected!* Please don't be fooled by my perfect happy pictures on Instagram or Facebook, sometimes it is far from it. I lose my shite and cry just the same as everyone else. I often get asked, ''What do you do to look after your mental health or to stay positive''?
So here it is, my words of wisdom. Have some HD free time - I have two groups of friends, those affected by HD in some way and those who are not, i love all of them equally and would be lost without them!!
My HD friends understand what im going through and i can talk to them about my HD life. Most of these people i have met over the years, at events or on social media, and i love them all. They know my story and what i have gone through, they can relate to my story and understand sometimes it's just hard and i need to complain. I work with them on campaigns and we have a special bond that ties us together. It's hard to explain but throwing yourself into the HD community is the most amazing thing because you will be met with open arms, love, care and support.
My friends who are not living the HD life, i can still talk to these friends about HD, of course, i can, they have been an amazing support to me and, sometimes its good to get an outside view on HD matters, but mostly i like to have conversations away from HD. I want to hang out and i guess, have that normal life, if we can ever decide what normal is. If i don't want to talk about HD i don't have to. They are always there for me HD related or not. Most of my non-HD friends have known me for a very long time, it's because of them i got gotten through the HD years and they have been lucky enough to go through my wonderful love life with me. On hand with ice cream, chocolate and tissues. Or a bottle of Gin! These beautiful humans i get to call my friends are always there for me when i need them, but mostly i love them because they don't see me as the HD girl! And never have, they treat me normal and give me a mixture of love and affection and tough love. They know me so well and know what i need and when i need it. This would be my first recommendation, if you can, to make a plan to have some HD free time. This might be grabbing a coffee with friends, heading shopping for the day or even a night away in a hotel or air b&b. Check out my Lisdoonvarna blog post to see how we can have some fun away from HD.
* I understand a lot of you reading this might be caring for someone with HD and not able to get away, but please try. Speak to family and friends. Speak to your social worker or Dr! If you don't look after yourself, you will burn out. FACT. Who is going to look after your loved on then?
HD Free Space - My bedroom is a HD free space, i do not talk about HD in here, whether it is a work-related topic, blog related or Daddy. If something needs to be discussed it is done in the living room or kitchen, outside, anywhere other than my room. This way my bedroom feels like a safe place, away from the big bad scary world. I watch Netflix, read books, paint my nails or flick through Instagram.
Make it a place you love to be and a place you feel relaxed. If your sitting in this place thinking ''these walls haven't been painted in years'' ''that laundry needs to be out away'' then it's not going to work. Keep the room tidy or before you are going to take 5 minutes to yourself, give the room a quick whip round! tidy up!
When i moved home in June 2019, my mum decided we would turn the ''good living room'' (Yes in Northern Ireland/ Ireland we have a good living room which to be honest you never use and then an everyday living room - -don't ask) into my bedroom. So for 6 months, i lived in a room with my bed squashed up against a massive piece of furniture, a three-seater sofa and two big armchairs. My clothes sat on the sofa, and my hanging clothes hung on a rail in the bathroom.
We eventually got new flooring, got the walls painted and i purchased different bits and bobs to make it my own personal space. I can honestly say i love my room, i love how it has been decorated, i went for a rustic, country-western look and this is my HD Free Space!
If you can, i recommend trying these two tips out, spending some time with friends away from your HD world, or make your very own HD free space.
I could be a particular room in the house, a certain chair or an area outside. Maybe the sofa out on your porch, where ever it is, find it and enjoy it, even for 5 minutes a day.