I am so excited to be travelling to America today! I swear my friends hate me for the number of trips I take! So after getting home from an amazing holiday this summer where I attended the HDSA convention, I decided I wanted to go back to the states. I asked my brother had he anytime off work, and we decided to go to my Aunts for Christmas! We will be spending two weeks (Christmas and New Years) with my Aunt, family and friends in CT. I have spent the past 4 Christmases with my X and his family as well as my own family, I don’t think I could sit on Christmas day knowing I won’t see the kids open their presents. I am fully aware that the relationship is over! I am fine with that, yes there are times I miss certain aspects of the life we had together, but we were together for 4 years, I feel like this is normal. We have and hopefully will remain friends. With the breakup, I lost a certain amount of contact I had with (I suppose technically correct HIS) our niece and nephew, as well as friends. I am Godmother to his nephew and get called Auntie Ash from both kids, I have known them since they were in their mummy’s belly. I think one of the hardest parts of this break up was missing out seeing them on a daily and weekly basis. I still see them, and my X’s family, it’s great, I love them and don’t want to lose them completely. But it’s not the same! Obviously. I could pop over at the drop of a hat whereas now, I live far away and have to plan the day, due to my busy schedule and theirs. Anyway!!
I just didn’t fancy a Christmas at home…Single, and dad is settled in the nursing home, happy and getting the best care. His sister is on hand if there is an emergency and of course mum will help out if anything happens. We have money set aside in case we have to get home ASAP. Part of me worries, what if this is his last Christmas and were deserting him, but I tell myself, it’s my life as well, I need to live MY life. This time next year I could be back in a relationship or have a million reasons why I can run outta the country at the drop of a hat. Going to America for Christmas, or in the winter has always been on my to-do list, seeing New York City id definitely on my bucket list!
We have some fun things planned for our trip and will get to spend time with family and friends in the states. Ryan and I haven’t been on holiday together since we were children, so we shall see how this goes! I can’t wait, and I’m not ashamed to admit I seriously need a holiday, I need a break. I know people who follow me on social media see me away all the time, but 90% of those trips are work, there long days, early morning and late nights and as soon as I get home I’m back in the office. They’re not normally the type of work trip where there are dinner and drinks every night, and even if they are im exhausted to get the benefit out of it! My trip to America in the summer was amazing but it did include the HD conference in Boston! So I still felt that HD presence! This holiday is not an HD holiday, I want to completely switch off! I’m even considering leaving my laptop at home! I haven’t quite decided. This post is scheduled because I am currently sitting on a plane! Over the ocean somewhere! So there you have it, sometimes we have to do think of our sanity, we have to be selfish and look after ourselves. If I burn out who is going to look after dad, he might be the one with HD, living in a nursing home, but let’s not forget the carer doesn’t exactly have it easy. It’s an emotional and physical rollercoaster. I live at risk and work for a HD charity, i absolutely love my job and wouldn’t change it for the world.
This trip is for me and i am so excited! Time for some self-love!
#Imnotdrunk – Lifestyle Blog